One Inning

Its been a good while since I've written about ol' Kneena (that's what i named my knee), I'm coming up on about 5 months here soon since my surgery. It has been such a suprise to me but so cool at the same time how many people have mentioned my blog to me. They say they've read my story, and are so amazed with how i'm handling it all. I just wanna say, thanks for all the kind comments and all the wonderful support. All's i can say is i've tried to do my best throughout this whole thing, but I've definitely had my moments with it. And there are people out there that are dealing with or have already had to go through much harder things and have handled them far beyond what i could ever imagine. Part of me wonders if this is why it happened. Maybe someone out there, someone struggling with problems and issues of their own, needed to hear what i had to say. Not just about my expereience but trials in general. I have had texts and phone calls from people i don't even know, people from other states, telling me thank you for inspiration to keep going. I just can't help but wonder, if it's for those people, that I was put through this trial. But even if it isn't, that in itself is justification enough for me! But anyways, on with my story. So the last time i played in a game was senior night for basketball, which i talked about in a past post. Not anything against that moment, because it was most memorable, but i kinda felt like a charity case;) i mean, i had to hobble up the court and the other team didn't even play defense on me. So this time around was a little different. Last night was senior night for softball and we played Dixie who is fighting for a spot in playoffs so it was a big game. And i'm about 2 weeks out from being 100% (at least i hope) so i wasn't such a charity case this time. I was told by my coaches i'd play one pitch in the field, be taken out, then have one at bat. I started in center field, then got to leadoff the game on the offensive end. I got in the on deck circle while their pitcher was warming up, i was just trying to shake out the nerves and get my timing down. This would be the first time i'd face a live pitcher in a game like situation in like EVER. so yeah, i was a wee bit nervous. As soon as i stepped in the box, it just felt natural. I felt like i had never left it in the first place. My dad told me to just jog it out on my way to first and not go too hard. (I still have not worked up to a full sprint) I was just praying for a base hit. The first pitch was a ball. I guess my pitch selection was still pretty dece because i didn't swing haha. The second pitch came and as i ran through the box i just made contact and off i went. It was a solid hit. I saw it going towards the second baseman and thought "well...crap man." then i saw it go through her, so i turned on the turbo and rounded first, and thought "Sick, double!" then i saw it go in the gap so i thought, "Heck, why not make it a tripple, go hard or go home right?" meanwhile, I'm running faster than i have for a very very long time, completely ignoring the base coaches telling me to hold up and solw down, it must have been the adrenaline. And coincidentally every time i hit each bag it was with my left leg. whoops. So anyway....heading to third, freakin stoked on life cause i just hit a triple my first at bat of the season, then the outfielder over threw and i just took off for home as fast as i could, i could hear everyone "DONT SLIDE" it might've crossed my mind....haha but i just ran on in and hit home plate. and boy, it was all tears from there. I don't know what it was, I just started bawling. Did that seriously just happen? All my teammates came out of the dugout and gave a sister some love. It was a really good feeling. Even though it was an in the parker, i was so happy. For the first time in a really long time, i felt like i was back where i belong. I've waited far too long to run the bases like that again, and i'm probably going to regret it cause the second i stepped in the dugout Kneena was just throbbing, but drastic times call for drastic measures right? I just felt like a player again, not just a spectator. Everyone was crying, like...everyone. and i felt stupid, but ya know what that tells me? that tells me that i got a whole lotta folks and teammates out there who care about me, and want me to be successful. To know all those people are happy for you and have your back, is a really good thing to know. I really am so blessed. The whole night i had friends and family telling me how proud they were, and they will never know how much i appreciate them and what it means to me. I cant wait till it's not just a one inning, one at bat thing. I am still in the in between stage where its probably okay to play, but it probably really isn't type thing. I still have a hard time with lateral movement, jumping, running and quick starts quick stops...but I've been working really hard at bridge (basically advanced physical therapy) and hope to be where i need to be within the next couple of weeks. All i want is my legs back, so i can just run and run and run and steal and run and run some more, faster than i ever have before. I'm not going to say for sure, because that is just stressful...I just know that when i feel comfortable and ready, i will play. But trust me, i want nothing more that to be on that field 100% May 16,17, and 18. I've had my sights set on for quite some time as you can imagine, and i would be really upset if it didn't happen.

you can watch it right here:) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jTaOyIEhxM

try to ignore the hitch in my step....