Life as of Late

Sooo I've learned a lot about life the past month or so.  I've learned that no matter how great you think your problems are, there is always someone out there with much more serious problems.  I feel like I had hit the lowest of all lows in my life, that nothing could possibly get any worse. Then I realized something. I'm Autumn Shipp. I'm an athlete. I'm a competitor. I'm a daughter. I'm a sister. I'm a friend. I'm as tough as they get. I don't give up. I don't fear. I don't let anything get in the way of my goals. People are watching me, either looking up to me or waiting for my head to fall.  I don't like losing. Never have and never will. It's just something that I won't accept. Losing. Backing down. Yeah, this is a challenge. And yeah, I'm gonna come out on top. It could be so much worse. There are people out there that are dealing with so much more, and handling it so much better than I am. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't still hard. But it has definitely become a little easier. You see, I have this scar now... about 3 inches, it runs vertically down the center of my knee. It signifies so much to me. I run my fingers along that scar, and instantly it reminds me of everything. Some of it is hard for me to think about, but it makes me stronger. I think about the moment it happened, the feelings that were felt. The emotion. I think about how I had to lean on my Savior and Heavenly Father when I felt so alone. I think about how I'm at physical therapy trying to lift my leg a couple inches off the ground, while my teammates are at practice running and jumping. I think about how this has shaped me. How it's been a roller coaster. I think about my testimony that I've gained through it.  I think about hard things, and how i can do hard things. It gives me something to tell my teammates, to motivate them. Nowadays, all I care about is giving them something to play for, something to fight for...helping them to see the game, the way that I see it NOW. Now it's the lucky scar, and they all have to rub it before a game.  Honestly though, even though somedays I'm just a reck, even thought I can't think too much about how it used to be, and how it still should be, even though I cry sometimes and get frustrated with it all. I am so genuinely happy. I love life. I love the position I am in. I'm so happy with my teams progress. I have began to understand that once you have something taken away from you, something that consumes so much of your time and so much of your life (sports for me) you are forced to realize the little things, ALL the other things about life that you've neglected to love all along the way.  I've learned that it is so important to smile. To let people know that you are happy. To look people in the eyes when you talk to them, to call them by name. To compliment, and befriend people around you. To be someone they can count on, someone they know they can go to with anything. The more you look for the good in others, the more you end up finding yourself.  Physical therapy is going SO good, my therapist is the bomb, his name is Ron, and he's such a good guy. He pushes me and he expects a lot out of me, which is good, because I expect a lot out of myself too. Nothing is more gratifying and fullfilling than seeing progresss. I walk outta that place and I just feel on top of the world. No matter how hard things get, no matter how much there is to cry and be sad about, there's always something to smile about.